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Saturday, May 15, 2010

I never finish anything

No matter how great my dreams or how genuine my intentions are, I never seem to finish anything I start. I have several unfinished paintings sitting in my art folder, one canvas sports only a mere sketch. Songs I have started to write live on wrinkled bits of paper, and spring up from unlikely places whenever I am looking for something else. Books I have started lie dormant on my hard drive. Empty diaries line my bottom drawer, covered in other bits and pieces that seem to have gathered there somehow. Sometimes I ask myself why I even bother. Why do I start these things in the first place? I write books because I have an idea, but never get any further than a couple of thousand words. Somehow the idea maps itself out so beautifully in my head, but it just never sounds right in words. I paint with every intention to sell my works at the local cafe, but even if I finish a few in a series, I never get round to making frames that fit. And for the songs... well I shouldn't even bother. I have minimal musical talent, and couldn't sing if my life depended on it. All in all, I might as well flush my next dream down into the realm of failure where my past dreams now reside. It's all quite depressing, isn't it? I really need to concentrate on extending the span of my attention... I'll keep you updated... whoever you are...

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